Nurturing a Lifelong Bond with Our Children
Parenting is a sacred responsibility, not a position of power. As parents, we often assume that because our children depend on us, they are bound to obey everything we say. However, love and respect cannot be demanded through force; they must be earned through understanding, care, and patience.
 |
| 💚💙🤍🖤 |
The Mistake of Aggressive Parenting
Some parents believe that being strict, forceful, or even threatening their children is the right way to ensure obedience. They think that since children rely on them financially and emotionally, they must follow every order without question. But this approach is deeply flawed. Parenting should not be about control; it should be about guidance.
When parents impose their will without considering their children's feelings, they risk creating a relationship based on fear, not love. If a child grows up feeling unheard, unvalued, and controlled, they may comply for a while—but as they gain independence, they will distance themselves, not just physically but emotionally too.
The Strength of the New Generation
Today’s children are not weak; they are highly capable and intelligent. With access to knowledge, technology, and opportunities, they can achieve things beyond what their parents might have imagined. Once they start earning, they no longer depend on their parents financially. If they have been raised in a home where love was conditional—where support was given only when they obeyed—why would they choose to stay emotionally connected?
This is where many parents make a grave mistake. They believe that by enforcing authority today, they can secure obedience for a lifetime. But in reality, force only pushes children away. They will move on with their new families and responsibilities, leaving behind parents who once dominated them but never truly connected with them.
The Consequences of an Autocratic Mindset
Parents who treat their children with an autocratic mindset—where rules matter more than emotions—may find themselves alone in their old age. Physical strength fades, and emotional support becomes essential. But if children were never taught love through kindness, they will not return it when it is most needed.
No law, no policy, no forced obligation can make someone love and respect another. The heart is above all rules. If parents do not respect their children’s wishes, dreams, and feelings, they will lose more than just obedience—they will lose love, trust, and companionship.
Parenting with Love and Respect
So how do we create a strong bond with our children?
- Listen to Them: Every child has thoughts, dreams, and emotions. Listening to them builds trust.
- Respect Their Choices: Just as parents have their preferences, children do too. Respecting their choices fosters mutual understanding.
- Guide, Don’t Dictate: Instead of forcing decisions, offer wisdom and allow them to make informed choices.
- Show Unconditional Love: Love should not be a reward for obedience. It should be constant, regardless of differences.
Parenting is not about producing obedient followers; it’s about raising strong, independent individuals who choose to stay connected out of love, not obligation.
A Prayer for Our Children
May Allah keep all children safe, may they always be respected, and may they, in turn, respect and love those close to them. Parents and children should be each other’s safe haven, not a battlefield of power and control.
Let us raise our children with kindness so that when they have the freedom to choose, they will always choose to stay by our side—not because they have to, but because they want to. Love you both child🤍🤍.